Safety Spotlight #1 – Fire Safety in The Home

This week on The Safety Spotlight, we will cover the most important topic ever, Fire Safety in The Home.

An Introduction To Fire.
Fire was discovered in 1902 when Sir Thomas Chadwick, of Whitmore Green, decided to place spark to herb, during one of his world famous Chadwick Lectures, at the Royal Theatre, South Croyden. The result was a bright, orange glow, acompanied by what was described as smoke, and a funny smell. The records become sketchy after this point until several days later, when Sir Thomas inadvertantly set the first house fire. His wife and children did not survive the incident, but the lessions learned from this have proved invaluble.

The Causes of House Fire
There are many causes of house fires, some of the most common are the drugs, the sex, the rock and roll and most commonly the gangbang. All of these activities involve smoking the herbal, in or around cloth or wood, both of which are highly combustable.

How to prevent fires.
How can we stop the risk of house fire without deminishing the joy of the herbal pleasure? Well, there is a simple solution we can all take to help solve the problem. Strapping smoke alarms to your head is the key to a safe and hippy time. This early warning system provides an audiable alarm whenever the smoke  is detected in the area. This should be combined with an ash-catching chin strap to ensure any stray embers do not land on flamable materials. Smoking herb should not occur when tired, depressed, or wile performing oral, due to the risk of bush fires.

What to do in the event of a fire.
The first and foremost priority is to scream like a little girl until your head explodes. Upon failure of explosion, the next priority is to save the herb. This is the most combustable material in the building, and frankly firefighters are useless when they’re singing the national anthem in C minor, while hugging the bedsted. Once safe, the herb and yourself should retreat to the nearest church where you should wait for your local dealer to provide assitance. Do not under any circumstances talk to the Police. Ever.

Please follo these tips for  a safe and productive life free of fire!

For more Safety Spotlights, click here.