Sorry, but just a quick random Shill…

I am not normally one for the Billy Mays style shilleville, so I will keep it brief.

I just thought I would plug my new blog. Not to be confused with this blog, mind, which is just fine and dandy as it is, this is a new blog. Woooo. 

http://ww… *ahem* http://www.gmtblog.com/ is a new blog dedicated entirely to the subject of Transport in Greater Manchester. GOSH HOW EXCITING you must be thinking. Well, yeah, but it’s a subject that I pay attention too, so, why the hell not?

 Updates will be several-weekly hopefully (because people are far more interested in how the buses are running than little old me, anyway) – and will contain tidbits on everything from how bad First are to several photo’s of GMPTE head Keith Whitmoore in a bannana hammock.

Anyway, that is all. Will write funny things soon. <3

There’s a major scandle afoot…

 This, my friends, is a bus scandle.

Of course yours truely starts to brick himself because, being at the innocent age of 21, is entitled to travel on a Young Persons’ SystemOne card. This is offset, however, by the fact I look 43. If this guy even suspects that I might be telling porkie pies here, I’m going to get a cactus inserted where only customs men dare to probe by the Old Bill and Ben under terrorism laws or something.

Thankfully the inspector, who was made three times as large than he actually is by his maroon and black GMPTE rainproof coat (on a sweltering day, worthy of any Australian BBQ) didn’t look twice. Yippe.

Intregued by this turn of events, I questioned the man as to what the Police officers where for. He gave me a sort of cryptic answer, saying “there’s more to these inspections than it seems, shall we say”. Hmm. What?

So, I did a bit of digging. Having contacts in local independant JP Travel, who know everybody from here to Stagecoach, it turns out that there’s been something of a brew-haha on the buses as of late. Get this;

Over 60 drivers for Stagecoach alone have been sacked. The majority have also been prosecuted. As proof of this, I’ve even seen an internal memo sent to all Stagecoach staff, informing them of this fact.

The reason? I’ve not got a solid definition yet, but my friend at JP suggests the art of  “pocketing” is the culprit. What’s pocketing, you might ask? Well, it goes like this; Kid gets onto bus. Kid puts fare on tray. Kid walks off instantly. Driver forgets to enter information into ticket machine and just keeps the cash for himself.

Another popular one is the “Broken” ticket machine, where every fare that isn’t a Day Saver (for which the machine makes a wonderful recovery), will go right into the driver’s pocket.

Apparently during the school runs, drivers can make upwards of £100 per trip, and make a months wages in a day with some expert timing and a sharp eye.

So, keep your eye out for it next time you’re on the bus. And let me know if you see any police knocking about trying to catch it, too.

There's a major scandle afoot…

 This, my friends, is a bus scandle.

Of course yours truely starts to brick himself because, being at the innocent age of 21, is entitled to travel on a Young Persons’ SystemOne card. This is offset, however, by the fact I look 43. If this guy even suspects that I might be telling porkie pies here, I’m going to get a cactus inserted where only customs men dare to probe by the Old Bill and Ben under terrorism laws or something.

Thankfully the inspector, who was made three times as large than he actually is by his maroon and black GMPTE rainproof coat (on a sweltering day, worthy of any Australian BBQ) didn’t look twice. Yippe.

Intregued by this turn of events, I questioned the man as to what the Police officers where for. He gave me a sort of cryptic answer, saying “there’s more to these inspections than it seems, shall we say”. Hmm. What?

So, I did a bit of digging. Having contacts in local independant JP Travel, who know everybody from here to Stagecoach, it turns out that there’s been something of a brew-haha on the buses as of late. Get this;

Over 60 drivers for Stagecoach alone have been sacked. The majority have also been prosecuted. As proof of this, I’ve even seen an internal memo sent to all Stagecoach staff, informing them of this fact.

The reason? I’ve not got a solid definition yet, but my friend at JP suggests the art of  “pocketing” is the culprit. What’s pocketing, you might ask? Well, it goes like this; Kid gets onto bus. Kid puts fare on tray. Kid walks off instantly. Driver forgets to enter information into ticket machine and just keeps the cash for himself.

Another popular one is the “Broken” ticket machine, where every fare that isn’t a Day Saver (for which the machine makes a wonderful recovery), will go right into the driver’s pocket.

Apparently during the school runs, drivers can make upwards of £100 per trip, and make a months wages in a day with some expert timing and a sharp eye.

So, keep your eye out for it next time you’re on the bus. And let me know if you see any police knocking about trying to catch it, too.

You’re kidding me, right?

I’ve written a blog title without three dots at the end. I do listen to the feedback, people.

Can you Adam n’ Eve it? YouTube finally whacked the ban stick down on my old account full of things that should not have been there, so the video section is now also useless, along with the content bit, the contact bit, and pretty much all of it. The development time on this website is becoming beyond funny, I know, but at least the blog is kept semi-updated.

The problem is, my other channel, with the HD videos on, has also now gone, as I stupidly used the same e-mail address. Aren’t I clever?

I recently did a talk to an entire school about the virtues of Health & Safety. That’s 650 kids. (Nobody else would do it, no.) Suffice to say the experience was, well, different than I was expecting. Kids have a good sense of humor, and teachers are a lot hotter than I remember. Teaching assistants are anyway. The where totally all over me and my shining high-vis and safety helmet. (….or not).It was surprisingly good fun anyway. We had a DVD projector set up and banners and stuff, it looked really professional. I think the best bit was when I asked the kids what a skip was, and one girl replied back “crisps”. – Good times.

Anyway, I totally also went to York last weekend to see Tornado, the brand-new steam locomotive, the first one built for over 40 years, and also Sir Nigel Gresley, the A4 Pacific loco. 4am rise, out of Piccadilly Station by 5am – suffice to say it was a good day, although the hangover was a little too much for some, and indeed York station now has a sort of barf-yellow tint. You can check out the photos at the usual place.

Anyway, gotta scoot’n me noot’n, or however that saying goes. I shall wite about the dying or potentially by that time dead Jade Goody soon, along with fixing the 500,000 errors and shiz.

Peace bredren.