Why a software crash might mean just that…

The so-called environmental wondercar of the world, the Toyota Pryus, seems to have caught so much momentum in recent years with soft liberal-types and people with more concern over their environmental image than their personal one, that it shows no sign of stopping. Literally.

The news that thousands upon thousands of a particular model, worldwide, can’t stop under certain circumstances is quite hilarious if it wasn’t so potentially dangerous. What ammuses me most about this, though, is the fact that this isn’t caused by a faulty brake disk, wire, cable or component – it’s a software error.

And the fix for this problem? Well, a firmware update, obviously.

A bug in computer software can be an annoyance. It might stop me from getting my spreadsheet into the boss on time, or stop me from getting to level 21 in a game, but for a software bug to stop me from being able to stop my car properly?

Of course, this particular firmware update requires the owner to return the car to the Toyota dealership. But what about the future, when people receive firmware updates to their car’s dash over the air?

Software controlling output on a screen is fine, but when it governs the physical interaction of the world, it needs to be right. Sure, things can fail mechanically, too, but traditionally, you need to be near someone’s car to cut their brake line.

The thought occurs that, one day, someone might find a way to send some kind of software modification to a model of car, and cause every single person’s brakes to fail simultaniously, or invert their steering or somesuch. And the idea that we might be closer to that day than we all think is frightning.

So next time you open a dodgy e-mail, look out for Pryus’ coming towards you. All might not be as it seems….

My predictions for 200910….

I’m going to struggle with this for the next three months or so now. Every year you’re conditioned to write the same four numbers in order for 12 whole months, every single e-mail, every document, every time you sign a bank book, and now all of a sudden, you have to go and put a whole different set of numbers.

WHO CAME UP WITH THAT DUMB IDEA?

Anyway, ALON-ZEE, as the late, great 10th Doctor used to say. Sad that really, he was a very good Doctor and a very sexy man indeed. If I was a woman or a gay I’d have him in a heartbeat. The new kid, though, not so good. I mean he might be a very fine doctor indeed but, having looked at this new trailer, the size of his jaw is just highlighted by that stupid bow tie.

Still, a new year, a new decade even, so it’s somthing new to get used to. Another new thing to get used to is the new trams in Manchester City Centre. They’re very funky and ride like a baby’s freshly talc’d bottom. Smooth as. It’s like Johnson’s Baby Oil on rails.

Anyway, new year, time for some predicitions;

Danny’s Predicted Historical Events in 2010

• Manchester City might actually win something.
• Michael Jackson will return Tupac style and release a new album.
• Woolworths will return to the high street.
• Sonic The Hedgehog will return to his #1 spot as the king of all Video Game time.
• Star Trek II will be properly announced.
• Red Dwarf Series IX will air on Dave, over a decade since Series VIII aired. Rejoyce.
• Nothing at all will happen with the Afghanistan situation.
• President Obama will improve the lives of all working class Americans, and in return they’ll remove him from office.
• George Bush’s new son, Bushdroid, will take office.
• GLADoS returns to extract revenge, and ensure that she triumphs in huge success.
• The Conservative Party will return to power for the first time since 1997 and privatise the last remaning public services.
• David Cameron will stop riding his bicycle to work.
• The New Doctor Who will either Flop or Fly.
• Bioshock 2 for Xbox 360 will be made of epic win.

Danny’s Predicted People who will die in 2010

• Bruce Forsythe will die on live TV groping some 20 year old stunners breasts as he goes down.
• Gordon Brown commits suicide after loosing to the Tories.
• Fern Britton will die after being strung up by her ladyparts in some freak sex accident.
• Bear Grills will do an “Irwin” and be killed by a woodpecker, or other seemingly innocent animal.
• Yuji Naka will be flogged publically and killed if his input on Project Needlemouse results in lots of random unavoidable pits.
• PC Doyle will die of fat.
• Smithy from The Bill will be killed off in a freak handgliding accident.
• Elvis will return from the grave, only to be instantly killed in a freak yaughting accident.
• Kaz Hari of embarassment when, at E3 2010, he announces the price of the PlayStation 4.
• Takeshi Kitano in the same freak yaughting accident.
• Myself.

Sorry, but just a quick random Shill…

I am not normally one for the Billy Mays style shilleville, so I will keep it brief.

I just thought I would plug my new blog. Not to be confused with this blog, mind, which is just fine and dandy as it is, this is a new blog. Woooo. 

http://ww… *ahem* http://www.gmtblog.com/ is a new blog dedicated entirely to the subject of Transport in Greater Manchester. GOSH HOW EXCITING you must be thinking. Well, yeah, but it’s a subject that I pay attention too, so, why the hell not?

 Updates will be several-weekly hopefully (because people are far more interested in how the buses are running than little old me, anyway) – and will contain tidbits on everything from how bad First are to several photo’s of GMPTE head Keith Whitmoore in a bannana hammock.

Anyway, that is all. Will write funny things soon. <3

There’s a major scandle afoot…

 This, my friends, is a bus scandle.

Of course yours truely starts to brick himself because, being at the innocent age of 21, is entitled to travel on a Young Persons’ SystemOne card. This is offset, however, by the fact I look 43. If this guy even suspects that I might be telling porkie pies here, I’m going to get a cactus inserted where only customs men dare to probe by the Old Bill and Ben under terrorism laws or something.

Thankfully the inspector, who was made three times as large than he actually is by his maroon and black GMPTE rainproof coat (on a sweltering day, worthy of any Australian BBQ) didn’t look twice. Yippe.

Intregued by this turn of events, I questioned the man as to what the Police officers where for. He gave me a sort of cryptic answer, saying “there’s more to these inspections than it seems, shall we say”. Hmm. What?

So, I did a bit of digging. Having contacts in local independant JP Travel, who know everybody from here to Stagecoach, it turns out that there’s been something of a brew-haha on the buses as of late. Get this;

Over 60 drivers for Stagecoach alone have been sacked. The majority have also been prosecuted. As proof of this, I’ve even seen an internal memo sent to all Stagecoach staff, informing them of this fact.

The reason? I’ve not got a solid definition yet, but my friend at JP suggests the art of  “pocketing” is the culprit. What’s pocketing, you might ask? Well, it goes like this; Kid gets onto bus. Kid puts fare on tray. Kid walks off instantly. Driver forgets to enter information into ticket machine and just keeps the cash for himself.

Another popular one is the “Broken” ticket machine, where every fare that isn’t a Day Saver (for which the machine makes a wonderful recovery), will go right into the driver’s pocket.

Apparently during the school runs, drivers can make upwards of £100 per trip, and make a months wages in a day with some expert timing and a sharp eye.

So, keep your eye out for it next time you’re on the bus. And let me know if you see any police knocking about trying to catch it, too.