My predictions for 200910….
I’m going to struggle with this for the next three months or so now. Every year you’re conditioned to write the same four numbers in order for 12 whole months, every single e-mail, every document, every time you sign a bank book, and now all of a sudden, you have to go and put a whole different set of numbers.
WHO CAME UP WITH THAT DUMB IDEA?
Anyway, ALON-ZEE, as the late, great 10th Doctor used to say. Sad that really, he was a very good Doctor and a very sexy man indeed. If I was a woman or a gay I’d have him in a heartbeat. The new kid, though, not so good. I mean he might be a very fine doctor indeed but, having looked at this new trailer, the size of his jaw is just highlighted by that stupid bow tie.
Still, a new year, a new decade even, so it’s somthing new to get used to. Another new thing to get used to is the new trams in Manchester City Centre. They’re very funky and ride like a baby’s freshly talc’d bottom. Smooth as. It’s like Johnson’s Baby Oil on rails.
Anyway, new year, time for some predicitions;
Danny’s Predicted Historical Events in 2010
- Manchester City might actually win something.
- Michael Jackson will return Tupac style and release a new album.
- Woolworths will return to the high street.
- Sonic The Hedgehog will return to his #1 spot as the king of all Video Game time.
- Star Trek II will be properly announced.
- Red Dwarf Series IX will air on Dave, over a decade since Series VIII aired. Rejoyce.
- Nothing at all will happen with the Afghanistan situation.
- President Obama will improve the lives of all working class Americans, and in return they’ll remove him from office.
- George Bush’s new son, Bushdroid, will take office.
- GLADoS returns to extract revenge, and ensure that she triumphs in huge success.
- The Conservative Party will return to power for the first time since 1997 and privatise the last remaning public services.
- David Cameron will stop riding his bicycle to work.
- The New Doctor Who will either Flop or Fly.
- Bioshock 2 for Xbox 360 will be made of epic win.
Danny’s Predicted People who will die in 2010
- Bruce Forsythe will die on live TV groping some 20 year old stunners breasts as he goes down.
- Gordon Brown commits suicide after loosing to the Tories.
- Fern Britton will die after being strung up by her ladyparts in some freak sex accident.
- Bear Grills will do an “Irwin” and be killed by a woodpecker, or other seemingly innocent animal.
- Yuji Naka will be flogged publically and killed if his input on Project Needlemouse results in lots of random unavoidable pits.
- PC Doyle will die of fat.
- Smithy from The Bill will be killed off in a freak handgliding accident.
- Elvis will return from the grave, only to be instantly killed in a freak yaughting accident.
- Kaz Hari of embarassment when, at E3 2010, he announces the price of the PlayStation 4.
- Takeshi Kitano in the same freak yaughting accident.
- Myself.