Archive for November, 2009
I can’t keep my eyes open…
Honestly, quite random but I am typing this with my eyes shut because the feeling of air on my eyeballs is too much pain to put up with right now.
I am not entirely sure why but I’ve had a bitch of a time sleeping recently. I think it’s all down to that low-fat yogurt and vegetables that I am told are supposed to be so good for me. So why am I writing this then? Good question, since I don’t even know what I am supposed to be writing about, except just to say that I feel very very tired, and that my eyes are shut because the feeling of air on my eyeballs is too much pain to put up with right now.
This, combined with the fact that my eyes are shut because the feeling of air on my eyeballs is too much pain to put up with right now has left me feeling a little disorienta…………
King & McDermott's Excellent Misadventure…
Some might say I have something of a nack for forward planning, and they’d be absaloutely dead on wrong. Despite the fact it’s pretty much my job to be ahead of the game, this past Tuesday proved that, actually, I’m a bit of a tit, as I’ll explain towards the end of this post.
So, to set the scene, we ended up in Sheffield to see the Smackdown! TV tapings. We got some pretty wicked seats that got us right up behind the booth, so look out for us on Sky Sports 3 / MyNetworkTV / The Score / BaddabingbaddabangSports.
Anyway, first thing’s first, the piccies. Clicky to open in big with fancy swoosh.
So yeah, it was great fun, we got really close to the action, music, pyro, a Casket Match, and some wrestling occasionally too. All good stuff, but so much fun was being had that by the time we got out of the Sheffield Arena, we where hitting the wrong side of midnight without a paddle.
Of course captain King here has got us return rail tickets that expire the same day. That didn’t prove to be a major problem though, as the last train had left about an hour ago anyway, and the station was shut.
The next train wasn’t until 4am. First thing was first, trying to get people to come pick us up from Manchester didn’t meet with too much sucsess as you can expect. Then followed the obligatory try and find a stupid cab driver who’d take us all the way there for anything less than the cost of his mortage, and again, that fell kind of flat.
In the end we managed to essentially break into the train station, with the epic plan that we’d camp out in there until the first train. That didn’t sit too well with the station staff at first, but eventually they took pity on us and let us sleep in the wating room, while kindly informing us that First, the company responsable for running the 4am train, had decided to have a relapse and run a bus instead.
Trying to sleep on a closed, freezing railway station with about 50 DMU’s ticking over all around you might sound like my idea of heaven, but ultimately it’s not the best place to try and sleep. I can’t remember the exact specifics of the bizare things we ended up doing to pass the time, but they range from singing Mega Drive tunes for an hour to re-enacting the entire second series of Red Dwarf on Platform 2B.
Eventually, the revolutionary train on rubber tires arived, and after a thurough ticket check (…) we managed to get a ride home, mashed up and with little sleep, but at the end of the day, it was a giggle.
Don’t trust me when I say I’ll make the travel arrangments, though.
King & McDermott’s Excellent Misadventure…
Some might say I have something of a nack for forward planning, and they’d be absaloutely dead on wrong. Despite the fact it’s pretty much my job to be ahead of the game, this past Tuesday proved that, actually, I’m a bit of a tit, as I’ll explain towards the end of this post.
So, to set the scene, we ended up in Sheffield to see the Smackdown! TV tapings. We got some pretty wicked seats that got us right up behind the booth, so look out for us on Sky Sports 3 / MyNetworkTV / The Score / BaddabingbaddabangSports.
Anyway, first thing’s first, the piccies. Clicky to open in big with fancy swoosh.
So yeah, it was great fun, we got really close to the action, music, pyro, a Casket Match, and some wrestling occasionally too. All good stuff, but so much fun was being had that by the time we got out of the Sheffield Arena, we where hitting the wrong side of midnight without a paddle.
Of course captain King here has got us return rail tickets that expire the same day. That didn’t prove to be a major problem though, as the last train had left about an hour ago anyway, and the station was shut.
The next train wasn’t until 4am. First thing was first, trying to get people to come pick us up from Manchester didn’t meet with too much sucsess as you can expect. Then followed the obligatory try and find a stupid cab driver who’d take us all the way there for anything less than the cost of his mortage, and again, that fell kind of flat.
In the end we managed to essentially break into the train station, with the epic plan that we’d camp out in there until the first train. That didn’t sit too well with the station staff at first, but eventually they took pity on us and let us sleep in the wating room, while kindly informing us that First, the company responsable for running the 4am train, had decided to have a relapse and run a bus instead.
Trying to sleep on a closed, freezing railway station with about 50 DMU’s ticking over all around you might sound like my idea of heaven, but ultimately it’s not the best place to try and sleep. I can’t remember the exact specifics of the bizare things we ended up doing to pass the time, but they range from singing Mega Drive tunes for an hour to re-enacting the entire second series of Red Dwarf on Platform 2B.
Eventually, the revolutionary train on rubber tires arived, and after a thurough ticket check (…) we managed to get a ride home, mashed up and with little sleep, but at the end of the day, it was a giggle.
Don’t trust me when I say I’ll make the travel arrangments, though.
Retro Review: David Bellamy's Endangered Wildlife
Well I am quite bloody drunk right now Sir, so what of coourse do I share of my mental genious than to say I have discovered a brand new idea for a pivoting topic point of blogging. Here is the amazing review of really bad software, video games and gadgets from the old days. I SHALL CHRISTEN IT, THE RETRO REVIEW.
First up, as per the title, David Bellamy’s Endagered Wildlife, for Windows 3.11, 95, and Macintosh Whatevercrapitwastheyhadthen.
For those not familliar with David Bellamy, he is a large bearded man who, for many years, fronted some namby-pamby shows on the TV about pandas. He later went on to do these very disturbing advertisements about Dettox disinfectant. Of course, with the Bellamy bandwagon at full roll, a video game release was inevitable.
Now the first thing to mention about this game is that, rather unpredictably, David Bellamy has absaloutely feck all to do with it. His voice, photograph, not even his name appears at any point except on the Compact Disc cover. This is, of course, something of a major dissapointment.
The plot opens up with a poor quality video of a pod crashing in what looks to be the surface of Mars. Then a video message is beamed into your 
brain, of two really cheesy actors in bad Star Trek costumes. They claim to have come from the future using some mumbo-jumbo technology, and have come back in time to warn us that the Pandas are all dead in the future.
Oh fucking n0es! – it’s now your job to meddle with the timeline and save all the forest-life from extinction. Now, to acomplish this task, you have to partake in one giant wordsearch puzzle for each endagered species that requires rescue. Now call me crazy, but, I’m not entirely sure what they hope to accomplish there. Now if we could sort Afghanistan out by doing a wordsearch and some really stupid mini-games, then the world would be a far better place.
Along the way you have to partake in various wordsearches, jigsaw puzzles, and watch various video clips of monkies randomly eating Bamboo. Once you’ve completed each puzzle, you move onto the next animal until eventually Bill and Ben pop back up on the viewscreen and say “cheers”. They then fuck off back too the future without so much as offering a cup of tea for your efforts.
Overall then, this game is severly lacking in any real substance. Duke Nukem it is not, with it’s cheesy MIDI soundtrack and total misrepresentation on the front cover, this game is bound to bring hours of sheer boredom too any household.
My grandparents love this game, by the way.
Danny’s Retro Rating:
