Archive for November, 2009
Money, it's a funny thing.
TODAY’S POST IS SPONSORED BY: REALLY SHIT GIF IMAGES INC.
And I’m quite short of it, but nevermind. It’s there to be spent right? Otherwise it just burns a hole in your pocket.
One more pay day before christmas, however, and as I get paid on the 15th, this gives me 10 days to do some panic christmas shopping. For those previously confused; there should be no shadow of a doubt by now that I am indeed a bloke with that statement, any bird would have had christmas shopping wrapped up in mid-July.
It’s funny stuff though, money. Take British Telecom, for example. They have loads of the stuff, but the only person in the whole of one particular village in Oxfordshire-Buckinghamshire to have the ability to recieve broadband just happens to be the Managing Director.
It’s too expensive to hook anyone else up, but Sir Michael Rake just happened to be 1cm closer to the exchange than everybody else and qualified. What a funny coincidence, huh? It certainly has nothing to do with the fact it’s unprofitable to hook everyone else in the village up, though.
Anyway, following on to today’s post’s money theme, I’m about to check the Bonus Ball number from this past saturday, to see if I’ve won the work draw. Exciting stuff people, this is live entertainment right ere’!
Okay, here I go, opening Google. Opening the website. Clicking on Lotto…….and…… fucking bastard. The bonus ball is 8, my first choice had it not been taken, as it’s my lucky number. I picked 18. Fuck fuck fuck. I really could use that £50.
Money, it’s a funny thing.
TODAY’S POST IS SPONSORED BY: REALLY SHIT GIF IMAGES INC.
And I’m quite short of it, but nevermind. It’s there to be spent right? Otherwise it just burns a hole in your pocket.
One more pay day before christmas, however, and as I get paid on the 15th, this gives me 10 days to do some panic christmas shopping. For those previously confused; there should be no shadow of a doubt by now that I am indeed a bloke with that statement, any bird would have had christmas shopping wrapped up in mid-July.
It’s funny stuff though, money. Take British Telecom, for example. They have loads of the stuff, but the only person in the whole of one particular village in Oxfordshire-Buckinghamshire to have the ability to recieve broadband just happens to be the Managing Director.
It’s too expensive to hook anyone else up, but Sir Michael Rake just happened to be 1cm closer to the exchange than everybody else and qualified. What a funny coincidence, huh? It certainly has nothing to do with the fact it’s unprofitable to hook everyone else in the village up, though.
Anyway, following on to today’s post’s money theme, I’m about to check the Bonus Ball number from this past saturday, to see if I’ve won the work draw. Exciting stuff people, this is live entertainment right ere’!
Okay, here I go, opening Google. Opening the website. Clicking on Lotto…….and…… fucking bastard. The bonus ball is 8, my first choice had it not been taken, as it’s my lucky number. I picked 18. Fuck fuck fuck. I really could use that £50.
Retro Review: Microsoft 3D Movie Maker
Welcome to Issue 2 of the Retro Review, the column that loves to take old software by the balls and give them a good shake. Today, we’re looking at that no doubt memorable classic:
The game allows the user to choose from a wide range of scenes, then place 3D characters into those scenes and animate them in any way they wish. They can add speach bubbles or, with a suitable 16 bit sound card and microphone, record their own dialogue. The completed movie could then be saved and even shared online.
Now, of course, during 1995 the third dimension was still very much in it’s infancy. The Playstation was just about starting to make some inroads, but most 3D games still consisted of sprite-based bad guys in limited perspective environments. This was especially true for PC games, which lacked the gaming hardware that computers today take for granted. Back then, if you had more than 64mb of ram you where considered the elite.
For the time, then, the graphics and features available on this game are quite impressive. At first glance, anyway. The scenes are actually pre-rendered, and the 3D models have about three polygons each, but this is of course forgiveable. It still looks quite pretty.
Then shit starts to move, and the whole thing falls apart. Any attempt at walking by any of the characters results in some bizzare stepping motion while the entire upper body remains motionless. Any other form of movement is erratic and somewhat strange, and it’s all too easy to use the motion tool to make the characters appear to hump each other.
Infact that last bit is the most realistic animation on there. Then there are other issues, like the ability to make the characters randomly hump their way into the sky and off into no-mans land. The scenes are set in place so the characters just seem to wander off forever. Combine this with a frame rate of 8, and you can see why this game is probably a bit strange.
Now I do love the fact I can make a fat old sailor shag a Japanese lady at complete at total random at 8fps, but this does bore after a while. You can, if you want, make a proper movie with this thing I suppose, although I doubt it’ll become a timeless classic.
Strangely enough this game has a bit of a cult following, though. As recently as 2005, modifications and expansion packs have been released for it, as well as new tools and things of that nature. That’s a whole decade of unleashing terror on unexpecting kids of all ages.
This game then is, for all its faults, random quirky fun, and the ability to make anything have sex with anything from the street to a telephone box is nothing short of win.
Danny’s Retro Rating:
I can't keep my eyes open…
Honestly, quite random but I am typing this with my eyes shut because the feeling of air on my eyeballs is too much pain to put up with right now.
I am not entirely sure why but I’ve had a bitch of a time sleeping recently. I think it’s all down to that low-fat yogurt and vegetables that I am told are supposed to be so good for me. So why am I writing this then? Good question, since I don’t even know what I am supposed to be writing about, except just to say that I feel very very tired, and that my eyes are shut because the feeling of air on my eyeballs is too much pain to put up with right now.
This, combined with the fact that my eyes are shut because the feeling of air on my eyeballs is too much pain to put up with right now has left me feeling a little disorienta…………
